Saving dollars on my electric bill in the summer is a feat I continuously pursue with innovation and integrity. In summers past, I carried a plastic squirt bottle with me everywhere. When my engine would overheat, I’d spritz myself down like I was paying homage to my hysterical menopausal former elementary school teacher. I wanted something fresh for Summer 2017, less dramatic and BPA free. When the statement earring trend appeared before me, I uncovered a new-found way of braving the summer heat. I knew what I would have to do: get over my jewelry indifference and adopt a negative attitude.
I immediately purchased fringe fan earrings (the one’s photographed are from Macy’s) and started saying no to almost everything! Now, when the waitress asks my table if the food is OK, I shake my head and bask in the breeze, too distracted by the relief from heat to acknowledge the tension I created. The guilt I’d carry when the cashier would ask if I would like to donate a dollar to a local charity has been replaced with the joyous moment of staying cool. I walk past lemonade stands filled with glee as the cool air hits my face and a young entrepreneur’s dream is shattered. Drunk men in bars have become my cooling system’s fossil fuel.
I have more money and less friends this summer than I could have ever imagined. I truly could not be happier.. or cooler!
Here I’ve paired my portable A/C’s with a striped flouncy tube top and culottes, naturally.