Worried about being stuck in a new location with no one but your family for 7 days? I know you’re asking the question we all ask ourselves before we start packing for a family trip… will any of these clothes give me super powers that will somehow make my family more tolerable? The answer is a gentle, “no, you idiot” but I do have some trendy patterns/fabrics for 2017 that may assist you in returning home unscathed.
The better to slither out of those much too personal questions your father has been mustering up the emotional courage to ask you about your relationship status. Play it smooth in a silk romper.
Grandma’s had you pegged as a crooked Hillary supporter since last Easter. Embrace your status and put yourself behind bars in a fresh, chic way. Maintain your mental wellness by putting your political views where they belong on this wholesome family vacation: in a pair of wide-legged striped pants.
Your mom is right.. you do eat like a slob. Rock a gingham printed blouse and your crumby mess will turn into a classy, summer picnic on your person.
And whatever you do, don’t forget your SPF 50! Your aunt had a melanoma scare and has interpreted her survival as a call from our Lord to inform the uninformed – even when it is not socially appropriate, like to the innocent waiter at Robby’s Seafood Grille, who turned out to not even be sunburned. Poor Jason, 16 years old, suffering from an unfortunate case of rosacea and just trying to make some money over the summer while your aunt chastised him like he himself gave her melanoma from his young, shrimp serving hands. Trust me, it’s not worth skipping the sunscreen. Bring it, apply it, and don’t you dare complain or she will show you her scar on her upper right thigh again.